My name is Anna Morari. I am a mother, wife, and a friend. My life is ordinary, but crazy in terms of its pace. I try to be the best at being this mammoth mom/wife/friend/me, and often times I put pressure on myself for not being good enough, fast enough, smart enough…and the list goes on of “enough’s”.
I came from a family of the first generation immigrant parents from mother-Russia. Yes, the wooden spoon shall fly and land on your head, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul should you have dared to compose an unhappy grimace the minute after (or before) your mother served dinner at her kitchen table.
I would hate for my story to be a cliché…you know, another tale of making it in America, eating borsht and hugging Grizzlies etc. However, I often found that if you dig deep enough you might also have traced yourself to another “Planet Foreign” country with which you generated a love-hate relationship overtime.
Long story short I was 16 when we moved to the U.S. My mother finally divorced my abusive father in America, as it was practically impossible to do it peacefully back home. My mother remarried my now American dad whose roots are from good old Nashville, Tennessee. Mom has two kids–my sister and I. Dad numero dos comes as a divorcee who has four kids of his own. Now IMAGINE the intercultural, insane, teenage-filled beautiful package of crap storm of emotions in this household?! Pure Joy!
So we made it! By default of having MY tough mother I had to get an MBA otherwise…you guessed it–another wooden spoon would have landed on my head lol…same went for my poor little sister; but I guess it didn’t hurt much other than finding yourself in fancy school debt for some time.
I eventually got married. My mother was against it but I did it anyways because unfortunately at that time I failed to trust her or my gut, let alone my brain.
Winds of Change
One fateful day after coming back from a trip I took to Paris and Moscow to see my family, I found out that my life would take a sudden turn at 180 degrees. I was cheated on plain and simple. For any person who was ever cheated on, be it your parent, your spouse, your friend–by the very person you trusted, hoped for and loved, is truly an experience like no other in terms of emotional roller coaster.
I knew that I would let no one mess with my integrity and cheat me out of being happy. Back then I almost fell in to the deepest darkest corners of my soul and contemplated many scary things. I found strength in Christ, in friends, in family and self, and slammed that door shut for the one who hurt me once and forever.
In the midst of pain still, I looked at myself in the mirror every morning as I went to work, put on my bright lipstick, did my hair and stared at my face singing Whitney’s “…I’d rather be alone than unhappy!” tune. I told myself that I will be loved, and practiced positive self-talk as much as I could. Yes, I did exactly that daily, aside from bumping my speakers with “I will survive” louder than life at day and I howling like a wolf at night to the “Wind of Changes” by Scorpions.
Along came Alex
I’m assuming that God had mercy on my soul, because SOME-body was definitely tired of hearing me scream SOS at nights as I desperately tried to cling to feeling alive again.
Alexander that is, a husband number two and the true love of my life, fell from the Facebook sky and landed in my BFF list. Ever since then–it was a new chapter of my life started and a new door that I thought I’d never open finally had opened.
I believed in love and I knew that for as long as my heart will know how to love I will be able to live, literally.
Today we have a daughter, love in our home, and more importantly, I gained love for myself. This discovery allowed me to find motivation and a huge stress relief through fitness and healthy eating. This is my journey of being a mom, trying to stay fit, eat healthy, discover new things that will uplift and add joy to our ordinary and yet hectic lives.
Follow with me for life stories, fitness chats, fun healthy recipes, challenges, cries, laughs and sharing because THAT is caring for one another.
This blog is not just for mothers. It is for ANYBODY who found strength to live again after any traumatic experiences in their lives, for people who managed to find love again after a storm and a meaning to their lives and people around them.
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